Artist draws what OCD recovery is like for her

Artist Draws What OCD recovery is like

OCD is like being stuck in a loop with no way out. Imagine you’re drowning, and the only way to get oxygen is to follow a strict ritual. That ritual brings momentary relief — but soon, the water rises again. That’s the reality I’ve been living with for almost ten years. And yet, through art, I've found I've been able to keep my head above water.

 

What OCD is not

My name is Vera (22 year old industrial design student) , and I’ve been living with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) for almost ten years now. A lot of people think OCD is just about being neat or liking things organised. Yes, OCD can represent itself in the theme of obsessive organising, but if you LIKE to do these things, don't claim you have one of the most debilitating mental disorders. It infantilizes the struggle of people actually living with it. The reality is much darker, thoughts about unimaginable things, or when you do have symmetry OCD, hours and hours reorganising your stuff.

But what's is OCD like for me?

 

My "just right" OCD

Having OCD for me means living in a constant state of discomfort. Nothing ever feels “just right.” I can’t simply close a door — I have to check three times to see if it’s really closed. And if it doesn’t feel right after those three times, I have to check it another three times.

 

Washing my hands isn’t just washing my hands, the water has to be at the exact right pressure, or I have to start all over again. Even when I try to go to sleep, my pillow needs to be adjusted, sometimes thousands of times, until it feels “right.”

 

What happens when I don't give in in to these compulsions

If I don’t do these compulsions, the anxiety takes over. My heart feels like it’s being squeezed by an invisible rope, tighter and tighter. My body tenses up, my hands get sweaty, and my mind races with intrusive thoughts. I would do anything to make that feeling stop.

It feels like I'm drowning, and to only thing that will give me oxygen willb e doing the compulsion.

And so I’m stuck again, trapped in the never-ending loop of obsessions and compulsions.

 

 

My pain into art inspired by the hourglass symbol

For my next sticker design, I wanted to capture what OCD feels like — originally for me, but I hope other people find their pain in this artworkso they have to carry their own pain less.

The symbol of an hourglass is often used for OCD (credit: @gravecoric on tumblr) but I wanted to make my own version. For me, the hourglass is a perfect symbol to represent to continuity of obsessions and compulsion.

 

The hourglass symbolism

he water inside the hourglass represents the constant stream of intrusive thoughts, or intrusive feelings, which is much more present in my case. For me, obsessive feelings do feel like I'm drowning.
The flipping of the hourglass represents the compulsions — the thing that starts the cycle over and over again (for this symbolism, I have to give @gravecoric on tumblr again cerdits.

 

My interpretation

But here’s where I added something new: a crack in the hourglass. For me, this represents what happens when you don’t answer the obsessions with compulsions. Instead of being trapped, the water flows out. And instead of drowning me, it nourishes the plants around it. That’s what healing looks like for me —and that's the path I've been on for the past few years. I'm breaking the cycle, even in small ways, and letting something good grow from the pain.

 

Why I Share This

Art has always been my way of processing what feels too heavy to put into words. OCD is exhausting, and it’s often invisible. Through my art it feels like my pain isn't for nothing.

 

Help me with my recovery

There is a way you can help me in my recovery. What has helped me the most in the past is replacing the bad coping mechanisms, like OCD, with good ones, like my small business. NeurodiverseTea is mainly a sticker business for neurodivergent people by a neurodivergent person. I created a sticker from this design. If you're interested in buying, you can find the link here. I hope you feel less alone with sticker, and I think it is a good conversation starter to bring OCD awareness: https://neurodiversetea.shop/en-nl/products/fuck-ocd-sticker-obsessive-compulsive-disorder-kopie?_pos=2&_psq=ocd&_ss=e&_v=1.